People Who Inspire Me

The people who inspire me is a very short list. For the most part it means I’m very particular about people in my life and I have major anxiety so I keep those few who influence me in a positive way extremely close to me.

My Dad is the first person who inspires me. He passed March 2004 from terminal cancer. He was the one person in my life who didn’t treat me like a fragile doll or keep a distance from me. Growing up he would take me fishing, logging for winter wood, hunting, working on cars. As I grew up through the years I found a distance between us as I found my own things to do, my own friends and trying to figure out who I was becoming. My dad expressed his love, his gentleness, kindness and his generosity to me, and everyone whose life he touched. He made friends as snowflakes gather with each other. He is my hero, battling cancer twice in his life. Remission the first time only to suffer in pain the second. He was strong in so many ways.

My Mom is the second person who inspires me. She passed the beginning of December of last year. She hasn’t been gone long at all and I still have that empty space and My mom is an angel. People would be drawn to her by her smile, humor and bluntness. She always said what was on her mind, as she saw it. Admirable if not sometimes very embarrassing. You’ve heard of dirty ol’ men who tell dirty jokes, flirt with the women and cuss like sailors? My mom was a dirty ol’ lady! She’d tell the dirtiest jokes I’ve ever heard in 47 years, and she’d flirt with the cute guys and cuss like a truck driver. Growing up she and I were not close. We fought like cats and dogs saying spiteful things. But I always stood up for her when someone said something negative or sarcastic about her. I’ve had a few physical fights over that last part. I would win those fights too! After my dad died I learned my mom had breast cancer, her heart was only working 20%, her kidneys would weaken and she had a hard time getting around physically. Suffering from depression even years after my dad passed. My mom and I became very close. Best friends to be honest. She beat the cancer. I am so proud of her. As a child I was always sick, she never faltered. She took care of my dad when the cancer hit him. She stood strong even though deep down she wasn’t as strong as she made people think she was. But she trudged on even as her health started failing. Her love, personality and humor never changed. Always smiling and laughing. She taught me so much even though she passed not being told that. In the last year of her life she suffered health wise severely. Then her heart decided it wanted to give up. A heart attack sent her to the hospital and had two more in 48 hours. Her kidneys shut down, her heart failed and she took her last breath with me beside her and holding her hand. The entire time in the two days before her final heart beat she was smiling and laughing. That’s inspiring to have that much strength, stubbornness, and tenacity. My heroine.

The third and final person is someone I gave the loving pet name of Angel because he is my angel. He’s saved me in so many ways. He’s my best friend, who can sit at home and watch a movie and have a home cooked dinner as well as going out and running errands then a surprise trip to Walmart to spoil me. I can tell him anything at any time. Now and then he hears what I say but isn’t really listening because he gets distracted. But I chalk that up to me just having a sounding board that doesn’t judge or make a remark that’s unnecessary. I love him unconditionally. In so many ways he’s like my dad. He’s generous to a fault, He’s patient, caring and his love is unconditional. We don’t fight. We can’t. Actually if he does something that ticks me off I walk away for a minute or two and he’ll come into the room I went to and stand behind me, put his cheek against mine and whisper “I love you” and we both say sorry and it’s done, forgiven and forgotten. Our relationship is one I’ve always dreamed growing up. He’s far from perfect but his imperfections, are really perfect to me. If that in anyway makes sense. He’s himself at all times. He never changes regardless of the situation or the people around him. I’ve noticed since we first got together I started changing for the better as well.